


i will, tonight

by lostatsea



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/F, F/M, it's sad, when do i write something not sad is the question
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9258401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostatsea/pseuds/lostatsea
Summary: Josh moved to California, and Jenna was out with work friends.The night was empty.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title and italics from I Will, Tonight by The Brobecks.

_Honestly, I've not the foggiest idea,_  
_Just what I'm doing here,  
_ _But why should I go?_

Josh was just moving to California. That was all.

Tyler knew that Josh would come to visit a lot, and he promised to fly back often. The duo even had a tour coming up in a couple of weeks, and they would be reunited extremely soon. The many days ahead featured time spent together, and the separation, although far away, was only temporary.

Despite the overwhelming logic to support the other side, Tyler couldn't help but feel deserted.

Josh had only been gone for three days after an emotional farewell in the airport. Jenna had been around to keep him company, but the hours couldn't seem to feel any more dull and stretched.

This night, however, was far more emptier than those prior. Jenna was out to dinner with friends from work, but she was very hesitant to leave Tyler alone. The week hadn't been the best for Tyler, and she wanted to ensure his safety. Jenna had asked him if it was okay to go out over thousand times, but Tyler dejected her worries.

"I'll be fine, Jenna," he had insisted, "I'm not a child."

But he knew that he couldn't take it on his own. He just didn't want to be inconvenient. A hassle.

He was that often.

"You know that you can call me whenever you want, right? I'll have my phone right by me all of the time," Jenna explained kindly, looking at Tyler with a warm smile.

"I'll be fine," he repeated.

But time had rolled around, and he was not.

His house felt dark and uninviting, no light bouncing off of the walls and filling the rooms brightly with yellow undertones. The sun had long set, and both Jenna and Josh were long gone. The rooms were chilly as well, representative of the harsh-winter temperatures that froze the air outside. A layer of snow that had accumulated on the ground from the past week was slightly visible through the dark of his windows. Nothing was drearier than being trapped inside the Ohio cold, but the whole situation seemed to trap him in his own mind as well.

There was no one to fall back on tonight. He couldn't call Josh to invite him over, and they couldn't stay up until midnight drinking Redbull and exchanging words and thoughts. He really didn't want to call Jenna because he knew that she needed a break from him. Her work friends probably smiled a lot. They probably had kids, a dog, and a house with a white picket fence. Other social interaction would be a break from Tyler's constant sadness that was dragging her down, creating dark circles under her eyes, and creasing her forehead with signs of worry.

He was such a nuisance to be around.

Tyler took a blanket and curled up on his couch, leaving his phone on a nearby table while he simply stared at the ceiling. There were spotlights that lined the ceiling that he was too unmotivated to turn on, and there was a web of dust forming in the corner that he was too lazy to clean.

He tried to make a mental list of everything he had to look forward to.

_The new tour_. This had been planned for many months, and they were already done designing all of the lights, sounds, and the entire two hours. But now, as he really thought about it, the excitement wore off and seemed wrong. The shows would just use up energy he didn't have, and he would most likely end up disappointing their fans.

_The morning_. His lyrics were always encouraging his fans to turn to the morning for hope, and they were a reminder that the fight of the night would disperse into the sunrise that would cast a new day. But that would just open a new day of struggling, and the cycle of thoughts would continue again.

He tried to scour his brain for something else to hold onto, something that could potentially cause reason to keep moving, but he was stuck at a dead end. There had to be more; there had to be something else to drive him out of this.

But nothing came.

And that was something that paralyzed him to the core. Not feeling. Not thinking. That's what he was petrified of the most.

When he could feel the pit in the bottom of his stomach so clearly, and when he could sense the itching call of his skin was when he could recover. When he could feel the beat of his heart echo in his ears, and when he could listen to the sound of harsh thoughts steaming in his mind was when he could solve it. He could latch onto the pain and take a step in the other direction. He could talk about it. He could do something.

But when those feelings progressed to a hole in his soul, everything froze.

The loneliness had evolved into a silent infection. Sadness had become a numbing drug. He felt detached. His hands weren't his. His mind wasn't thinking. His surroundings were fake.

Tyler then reached for his phone, an impulsive decision based on a sudden rush of adrenaline on a thought that thankfully reached closure in his mind.

**Tyler** : how's LA

It only took a short moment for the other to respond.

**Josh** : i really, really like it here

**Tyler** : good

**Josh** : how's everything in ohio?

Tyler smirked and lied.   
  
**Tyler** : great

**Josh** : i'm glad to hear. tell jenna I say hi, but i have to go now because i have to meet debby for dinner. talk to you later!!

Tyler closed out of his messages with Josh and opened a new conversation with Jenna.

**Tyler** : how's the dinner going

Like she had promised, Jenna was swift to reply.

**Jenna** : it's going well. is everything alright?

**Tyler** : yep, just checking in

**Jenna** : okay good. can't wait to see u again

And that was the only closure he needed.

_But I will, I will,_  
_I'll take that little pill._  
_Oh, I will, I will,  
_ _Tonight._

He sang himself to nothingness. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.


End file.
